Toronto International Flesh Festival

We noticed that this year's films, at least the ones we saw, contained a lot of nudity.  It wasn't necessarily sex or even sensual, but certainly a lot of nudity.  Is it a trend, or did we just pick pervy movies?  We may never know.

Rush 102 - What Not To Do

The Rush line is a simple concept - if a show sells out and you want a ticket, you wait in the Rush line.  If you're fortunate, you get a ticket when others don't show up.  See the first picture for an idea of just how people will kindly wait around for hours in hopes of a ticket.

See picture number two for the bozo standing toward the front of the Rush line holding a sign proclaiming his need for a ticket.  Hello, so do all these people.

TIFF, we have a problem...

Yesterday, I received an email notifying me that my ticket selections had been processed.  I excitedly opened up the email, performed a quick count of movies on our schedule, and sure enough, we had 20.  Then I looked a bit closer and noticed that once of our second choice picks was among them.  "Bummer," I thought, "we didn't get all of our first selections."  I set out to see which ones we didn't get, and discovered that we received all of our second choice picks, and rather indiscriminately.

We are double-booked three times in two days.  I don't know if you've tried it, but watching two movies at once is quite challenging, particularly when the theaters are over a mile apart.

I'm sure TIFF will rectify the situation by replacing our second choice tickets with vouchers for the three double-bookings, but that overlooks another little issue.  This year, we bought a membership to TIFF.  At our contribution level, I was told that our ticket order would be processed "before the general public".  It would appear that we're in a rather large group and that all of us pre-general public people picked the same films.  Or perhaps our order was processed among all the other John Q. Public's orders.  I'm more than a little irritated, and less than enthused about renewing my membership next year.

TISFF

When we were putting together this year's schedule, I thought I noticed a trend toward shorter films.  Being a math geek, I set out to calculate the average length of this year's films versus the 2009 films (the last time we went).  Now, I don't have the kind of time on my hands that I can average the lengths of 300+ films for each season, so I stuck to the films we'd picked.  Sure, perhaps we just happened to pick the shortest films they had out this year, but I doubt it.  For the sake of argument, I'll treat it like a random sampling.

Last year, our average screening was just over 111 minutes long.  This year, we nosedived to just over 98.5 minutes, over 12.5 minutes shorter than 2009.  Is it an industry trend?  Sheer luck?  I don't know, but maybe, just maybe, producers are trying to play into the hands of our short attention spans.  Either way, we could call this year the Toronto International Short Film Festival.

Lessons Learned

I learned a variety of lessons at this years festival, both from the films and the experience in general. Here's a recap of the ones I can remember in my jet lagged state:

I should take a day off to spend some more time picking my films, or arrange for therapy while I'm there. Minimally, I should mix the different types of trauma, maybe start with a blown heist, move on to a bloody war, and then after a brief stop at hopeless drug addiction, wrap things up with a terminal illness. But I know it sucks to keep on the same depressing theme. By the way, I learn this lesson every year.

Never forget your lock pick kit.

No gimmick films next year. If it actually turns out to be stupendous, I can catch it on DVD.

It's really all about the director. I knew this, but got confirmation this year.

Never, under any circumstances, kill innocent people for personal gain. Even if it seems like a good idea, it will just end with the destruction of you, your family, and of course the person you kill. And you'll probably feel bad, too.

Something will go wrong on the way to Toronto. Accept it and move on.

Someone always forgets to turn off their cell phone, no matter how many reminders the festival programmers give you.

Comments aren't questions, but people will give them during the Q&A anyway.

Further west on Bathurst, there are groovy restaurants:

1. SAN, a Korean joint
2. Chehoskey, a fusion restaurant just a little further west with good beer
3. Cocoa, Tapas & Brazilian food across the street from Chehosky
4. Terroni, Italian joint even further west

Sit downstairs at the Elgin. The sound isn't all that great in the balcony.

Keep notes on lessons you learn as you learn them. Later you might forget.

Random Ramblilngs

I saw a Jen Warne clone riding a bicycle on my walk back to the B&B today. I did a double take, and I'm sure she thought I was checking her out or something.

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I forgot to mention the funniest thing about my travel adventure to Toronto. The nice Asian lady said over the plane's intercom, in a rather cartoonish accent, "Hi, my name is Coco and I will be your fright attendant today." I kept thinking I was an unwilling extra in a Quentin Tarantino cheese ball horror flick.

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At the beginning of each screening, they display a brief message notifying the crowd that piracy is illegal and that you may not photograph the screen in any way during the show. It started out as one guy early in the week, but now there is a healthy chorus of "Aaaarrrggggghhh!" It's only fitting, with Talk Like A Pirate Day coming up and all.

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I was waiting for a screening to start today, and two young (early college age) women were talking at length about how much they knew about writing. Every third word out of their mouths was "like". "And, like, you should, like, never use, you know, like, 'to be'."

A hearty "Totally," replied her friend.

Valley Girl just now made it to Toronto, and they will be the next literary geniuses from the Great White North.

Q&A, but not C

One of the things I love most about the festival are the Question & Answer period they frequently have following a film. It's interesting to hear insight from the director and cast members.

My new pet peeve is "The Commenter". Invariably, there are one or two in the audience who can't overcome their need to baste the director in praise, and they must declare it in front of the entire audience. It's great that you enjoyed the film. The rest of us are hear for the Q&A. Write a letter or something.

You're kidding, right?

As a fan of film, I've been disturbed by a recent trend of showing advertisements before screenings. I'm all for previews and I consider that all part of the theatre experience, but I'm talking about cola, airlines, beer, whatever. I don't know how it is that I'm paying $8.50 for a ticket, $3.50 for a bottle of water, and now I have to sit through an ad, too. But that's not even what has me ruffled. As I was waiting for the beginning of Casino Royale, and a preview for a Rocky comeback movie started, I found myself expecting, or perhaps hoping to see the Energizer Bunny rolling across the screen as part of some wicked joke advertisement. No such luck.

Yes, Rocky is coming back, and not as a coach. From what I understand, the 50-something character, played by the now 60-year old Sylvester Stallone will be stepping back into the ring. Thirty years after Rocky, and 16 years after Rocky V, he's back with Rocky Balboa.

The franchise started in 1976 and released a film in every three years until Rocky V, for which they waited for five years. The extra time was apparently not spent in the script room. Stallone, who has written all the movies, directed II, III and IV. So, perhaps they were waiting on original Rocky director John G. Avildsen to complete that "classic" film, The Karate Kid, Part III. I presume the return of Avildsen was meant to recover some of the spark of the original film. How did it turn out? See my crude imdb rating trend analysis below.





Clearly, there was a tick downward when Avildsen returned to the franchise. Is that his fault? I doubt it. Nonetheless, he won't be around for what has to be the last in the series. Stallone will get to take all the "credit" for this one. And if this film doesn't get any critical acclaim, perhaps Stallone will get some for the next Rambo movie. And, no, by the way, I'm not kidding. These are the movies that make me glad I'm doing this for free, otherwise somebody might make me go see them. I'll sit this one out unless I hear of a miracle Rocky comeback, and not the one that will undoubtedly happen in the movie.