Review: Gigantic

I'll admit that I picked Gigantic based almost solely on the fact that I thought Paul Dano was really creepy in There Will Be Blood and I was just curious as to what he'd do next. First time writer/director Matt Aselton teams Dano up with stars Edward Asner, John Goodman, and Zooey Deschanel in this romance/comedy/something or another.

Dano plays Brian, a 28-year old mattress salesman who has dreamt of adopting a Chinese baby for 20 years. Deschanel plays Happy, the daughter of a wealthy businessman played by Goodman. Brian meets Happy when she comes into the mattress store, which looks like a black market mattress store, to wrap up the sale of a top-of-the-line $14,000 bed. She falls asleep on the bed and Brian covers her with a blanket. Isn't that just so sweet? Brian and Happy hook up, and then she gets cold feet about the relationship when his adoption comes through.

There are jokes here and there, and a few of them are funny, mostly from Ed Asner, who plays Brian's dad. And there's this weird series of attacks on Brian by some homeless man, who Brian ends up killing with a switchblade lent to him by Happy's dad for no apparent reason (the phrase "no apparent reason" applies to any part of the entire previous sentence). There's some miscellaneous interaction with Brian's family, and some of that is mildly amusing.

The script could have used an editor, or a script doctor, but really what would have helped is an entirely different script. The direction pretty much stunk, too. The whole movie was a mess. If I had a Colbert-style "On Notice" list, Matt Aselton would be at the top of that list. Please, please do not see this film. I mean, go ahead if have low self esteem and you want to feel better about yourself. "Wow, maybe I could write and direct a major motion picture!" is a phrase that came across my mind as the credits rolled. My imdb rating: 4/10.